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hawkida: (Default)
Max Harden

March 2025

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hawkida: (Default)
School was easy. At school they introduced a concept and gave you simple exercises that got progressively harder until you were familiar with the idea.

Work ain't like that. I've spend a frustrating day getting nothing done and feeling stupid. The system we're using for the current project is something I've had no exposure to previously and while I follow along as I'm walked through an example I'm completely failing to transpose that knowledge to what I'm trying to acheive myself. It's frustrating and tiring and my head feels like it's full of cotton wool. I'm going to get an early night, I think, and hope tomorrow works out better. The worst of it is looking stupid in front of colleagues. I think (hope!) it's going to suddenly slot into place at some point but right now it seems impossible and I want to forget all about it. So, of course, it's playing on my mind instead and irritating me.

There's a general low undercurrent to things at the moment. Can't seem to find enthusiasm for much, right now. Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's the fact that it rains every single bloody day, maybe it's the ongoing low after the high of the convention. Whatever it is, it's leaving me drained even when not tired and I'd really like to come out the other side kinda soon now, please.
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