Lifetime

[hawkida]

My "lifetime" membership of the Red Dwarf fan club has expired. They finally put together a new fanzine after a ridiculous amount of time - over a year I believe, and I didn't get one. I chased to see if it had gone astray or there had been some database error or similar, but no:

"We have had a revision of complimentary members list.
[...]
So in affect any previous complimentary magazines are no
longer available. And this would require you to become a
member again, if you so wish."

I'm not going to pay, and I don't think I actually want written material from people who write that badly.

So does that mean I'm dead?

Comments

They're all dead, Dave

[bugshaw.livejournal.com]

I suppose you could claim if you're now officially dead you should get a holographic copy of the magazine :-)

Or complain that life means life, you didn't want to get out after a couple of years for good behaviour!

(trying to make you laugh, to soften the rejection)

Re: They're all dead, Dave

[hawkida.livejournal.com]

Oh, of all the people who might decide to reject me, they're probably the ones who can upset me least.

[luckykaa.livejournal.com]

You're too harsh. Clearly this is written by someone who speaks English as a second language:)

[ang-grrr.livejournal.com]

You lucky lucky bastard!

[snowking.livejournal.com]

Or you've got a whole new life!

[hnpcc]

I think you're being optimistic with the "second" part. My guess would be that they're using translation software and going via several other languages to boot.

[hnpcc]

Oh man is it wrong that that was my first reaction as well?! :-)

[luckykaa.livejournal.com]

Perhaps.

Translating through Google English->Chinese->English gives this:

We revised the list to add members.
[...]
Therefore, any impact in the past, there is no free magazine
Re-use. This requires you to become a Member again, if you wish

[dougs.livejournal.com]

You're dead, Dave Max.

[ajshepherd.livejournal.com]

I wonder if anyone still has one of the 'H'es that Octarine used to sell...?

[argonel.livejournal.com]

You are obviously communicating with the zombie version of the Red Dwarf fan club. the lifetime membership was for the lifetime of whoever expired first, therefore this must be an undead fan club.

[cdave]

IAWTC

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that's the same trick MFI uses for assembly instructions.

[tizzle-b.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed it managed to bridge the gap between S8 and ... the Dave stuff.

[almostwitty]

The Dave stuff wasn't even Red Dwarf. It was on the same level as badly written fanfic...

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