Mar. 18th, 2002 10:12 am

Bad Night

hawkida: (Default)
There are two beds in our house. One of them is a single which Sin sleeps in. The other is a double which Raz and I share, despite having split up. It makes sense - we're still friends and nobody wants to sleep on the living room floor, so until I move out everything is more or less how it was before we broke up. Including the snoring.

Apparantly, I snore. However, for some reason, if you put a hand on my head then I stop. I don't understand this, nor do I understand how it was discovered - "Ah, a snoring person, I know what'll stop that, I'll place my hand on their head!" Uh, riiiight.

Raz, on the other hand, snores and snores and snores. Not in a regular pattern. Just a snore or two or three, then a pause then another snore, some more pausing and just as you start to doze off thinking that's it he starts again. It's so frustrating - it's like a door banging in the breeze. There's no rhythm to get used to - it's just this really annoying intermittent noise. If you get him to turn over then sometimes it will stop. Not last night. I think I usually avoid the issue by going to bed first - I'm asleep by the time he appears and starts making a racket.

Last night, somehow I stayed up until 1am by accident. I can't even remember what I was doing - I usually aim to be in bed at midnight. But it was 1am when I got into bed and about 1.20am when Raz got into bed and for some reason I hadn't dozed off yet. He did, though. Pretty much instantly. And to cut a dull tale a little shorter I'll skip to the point at 2.30am when I got completely pissed off with the situation, grabbed my pillows and a sleeping bag and slept on the sofa downstairs instead. Forgetting to switch off the alarm clock upstairs. Whoops.

So I set my mobile to wake me at 6.45, but was actually woken by Raz coming down to inform me the alarm upstairs was going at 6.30. That's four hours of sleep. That's not enough. I am tired. And the train was cancelled and I didn't get a seat it was easy to sleep in on the next train. And I'm tired. And did I mention I'm tired? And I ache cos that sofa isn't the best shape for sleeping on. And I'm tizzzzzzz
hawkida: (Default)
I was on IRC while I did the Tesco shop this week and it occurred to me that since I would be out when the shopping was delivered it might be fun to add something bizarre to the list for them to puzzle over. I was thinking of something like a coloured lightbulb that wouldn't fit any of our lights but I threw the question open to the IRC audience.

"A pregnancy testing kit!" suggested Ang. Now, this was an interesting proposal but I didn't want to freak them out QUITE that much, so it was dismissed. Even though Ang was very insistant. "I'll cover the cost, do it! Video the reactions!"

_jamez_, meanwhile, came up with the idea of dog food. At least, I think he was first with it. The same shout came from a few corners in the end, among some less than impressive suggestions. So I did it. In the midst of our shopping was a small tub of dog food. In case you're not following this story well, let me enlighten you: We have no dog. We have never had a dog. We have no plans to get a dog.

So I come home and only Raz is still up. Does he say anything? Nope. I glance around the kitchen and find the bits and pieces they haven't put away, probably because they're not sure where they go. The fridge is fairly well stocked. No sign of the meat, presumably it's all in the freezer. Some rolls are on the side, maybe some should go to the freezer, but this can wait.

And there on the side is the dog food.

I wander upstairs and Raz is playing loud music and computer games (he's got a penchant for Wizardry right now).

"Did the shopping get sorted okay?"

He tells me they didn't know whether to freeze the bread rolls or not. Then he shuts up. I offer another opportunity to introduce the dog food question.

"Did they substitute much?"

"I didn't look at the list, I don't know."

It goes quiet. I read my email. And then I crack and admit that I'm highly disappointed that he didn't even MENTION the dog food. What sort of a reaction is that?! So I told him why it was there and he said "Yeah, we did wonder." And that was it.

Maybe I shoulda gone with Ang's plan.
Jan. 5th, 2002 10:56 am

An End

hawkida: (Default)
Most of the people reading this will have known me for a good while and know that Raz and I have been together for approximately six years and perhaps it seemed like we always would be. Sometimes I thought that, but as time went on I started to wonder more. Late last year it stopped seeming that way.

Today, after a lot of thought and a lot of putting it off, I ended our relationship because for me it just wasn't working. When we are apart I don't miss him. When we are together, I often feel crowded and tied down. Everything had become mundane. Perhaps we got too comfortable, perhaps we didn't talk enough. I'm not completely sure where the problems lay.

I didn't want to hurt Raz. I'm sorry I did, but we WILL stay friends and I feel like a weight has been lifted. The question is: where and what now?
Oct. 28th, 2001 10:39 pm

Quiet

hawkida: (Default)
It's quiet right now and I'm feeling pleased with myself. I've tidied the living room (and boy, did it need it) and done twenty minutes on the rowing machine. I always accompany the rowing with loud music because it drowns out the squeak of the machine that probably needs some proper oil and isn't too impressed with WD40. It's perhaps the main time that I listen to music and it adds some enthusiasm to the otherwise mundane task of working myself into a sweat.

Consequently, when I stop and switch off the music everything is quiet and calm. Particularly so tonight. Raz went off to join in the delights of Luigi's mansion again and I decided to stay home to clear up. So it's just the hum of the machines and the quiet clattering of the keyboard. Peace. Ah.

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